"I" & "Me"; two short but intense words which have become the center of focus much too frequently. An English Professor of mine once gave the following challenge; "I challenge each of you to go for an entire week without beginning a sentence with the words "I" or "Me" in your daily journal entries". As part of our curriculum we were required to keep a daily journal and at first I thought what an easy challenge this would be, boy was I wrong. This experience helped to open my eyes as to how self-centered we as human beings oft-times are. And when I say we, "I" am mostly referring to "me". With all the billions and billions of planets, stars, and galaxies out there how have we come to the conclusion that we are at the center of it all?
This past month or so my life has become self consumed with my own pains, aches, and ails. I know that the Rx to ease these woes would be to put them aside and go find another who just needs a Hug, physically or metaphorically, and to be the one who provides it for them. I think that is what Christ spent his entire human existence trying to teach us. If only we could learn to follow the council given to us in the scriptures; "lose yourself and then you will find yourself", then perhaps our own pains and woes would seem less empirical, less important. It is important to embrace some form of selfishness, for without it we would never be able to face our inner demons and have the strength to recognize our weaknesses and begin to over come them. However when this inward thro becomes all consuming we lose sight of one of the most important principals taught by Christ, that of Charity.
I have felt some guilt for being so self centered in my posts, however I have recently come to realize that it is all part of the journey. There needs be no guilt, just acceptance and realization that it "Is What It Is" each and every feeling and emotion should be embraced and experienced then let go. My end goal is to become less and less self absorbed, to begin enjoying the journey rather than fighting against it afraid of what may lie at the end. Through dealing with my Fathers death and the way my twin brother has dealt with my coming out I have come to realize that we have no idea what the future holds, what lay at the end of our path. I think it is by learning to enjoy life along the way that one finds true inner peace and happiness not by holding in anticipation to what may or may not be in store at the end. If my journey is able to help but one then every pain, every heartache felt along the way is worth what it took to endure. Possible one day someone will come across my blog and read what I had to share. Possibly that one person will think to themselves, "Man, I thought I was all alone? This guy knew the pain and he made it through just fine, maybe I will to. . ."