Sunday, November 29, 2009

Telling the Family

It's time to tell the family! I don't know how they will take it but most likely not well at all. My family's way of dealing with difficult issues is to first try to be the saviour of the moment but then abandon the "Offender" when their efforts fail. For after all if one is not living up to church standards then he may be a bad example for the rest and or even try to convert the kids to their way of thinking. I am comfortable with my sexuality and will not allow the family the opportunity of trying to help heal me. When they discover that I have no desire to change that I will be embracing this life I can only imagine how they will respond. One of my dad's brothers was a trans and he ended up alone to the end. He was recently found dead in his apartment and he was so far "gone" that they could not determine the exact cause of death. He was so alone in life that he lay in the apartment for weeks before anyone knew that he was gone, and that only because the neighbors complained of the smell. My father tried to help his brother "change" when he first learned of his "illness". He had left his wife and driven to Colorado seeking a sex change, when dad found him he brought him home and put the man through hell trying to change him. He literally drove his brother from his life through trying to "help" him. He tried to make it look like he had done everything in his power to love his brother but his brother had chosen to leave the family behind and follow his deviant behaviors. His brother only lived a few miles away but he no longer had anything to do with him. Uncle Gary was not welcome at family functions because of the influence he might have on the kids. Is this what lies in store for me? I fear it is, but I will no longer let the fear keep me in hiding. It is time that they know who their brother, uncle and son is.

My greatest fear is that my siblings will keep me from their kids. I love my nieces and nephews with all my heart. I have spent a lifetime loving these kids being much more than just the average uncle, and I will most likely become the apostate one as taught to them by their parents. Many of them are still young enough that whatever their parents say will be taken as fact. I have been "Uncle Richie" for too many years to lose these kids, but am trying to prepare myself for the fact that it could happen.
Wish me luck friends, I have a feeling many of you totally and completely understand.

1 comment:

  1. Best of luck to you my friend. If you need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen, please let me know.