A young friend of mine who I have been big brother and mentor to for a number years is having an extremely hard time dealing with the "Guilt" from his habit. I am writing this post in the hopes of getting some good feedback that perhaps I can share with him. So fellow Homos, MoHo's, MoHo's wife's and even you few str8 readers, I would appreciate any deep insights you may have, keeping in mind they are going to an innocent 21 year old!
OK, so it's a touchy subject but I must ask the question, "What is so wrong with it?" I mean think about it: If you take away the religious tradition It's sometimes self fulfilling, relaxing, pleasurable, even insightful, and never brings with it the possibility of contracting an STD. God created man so that he would never run out of swimmers, he must have known how many we would waste? How sad to realize the amount of shame and guilt that many have to endure for practicing something that is most common among men. How sad that because of what I was taught I thought it was the reason for my being attracted to men. And from a purely medical standpoint the more regularly a man ejaculates the lower the risk factor he has for having prostate cancer. LOL
Seriously folks can anyone explain why it is considered so wrong? I'm looking for input! Forgive my frankness but I am serious here. . .
I'm neither a MoHo nor a wife, although I am a friend--can I still give advice?
ReplyDeleteAs I understand it, masturbation is conditionally wrong. The problem with masturbation is that, more often than not, it's used in place of a real connection with a real person. For many people, masturbation is a way of avoiding intimacy--emotional as well as sexual. So, from that perspective, masturbation is harmful.
But, of course, like anything else, it depends. To my way of thinking, how you use a thing is what counts. After all, if we consider the purpose of the Word of Wisdom, then half of Happy Valley is breaking that particular rule with ice cream. I think that many people have failed to consider the multiple reasons for masturbation--as well as the varied life situations behind it. How can something be always bad, or always good, when we as people lead such varied lives?
I think that, in the MoHo case, masturbation obviously isn't being used to avoid intimacy--quite the opposite. If you're married to a person of the opposite sex, then clearly your commitment to intimacy is strong. Masturbation is what allows that intimacy to continue; it's not harmful to the relationship, it's beneficial to it. So I say, from that perspective, that masturbation is clearly a good thing. I don't see how anything that helps two people who want to be together, stay together can be against God's plan.
You might want to check out MoHo Polls where this topic was addressed a few months back. I compiled a list of blog posts relating to masturbation from various MoHo authors (and friends of MoHo's) representing a wide variety of points of views
ReplyDeleteMasturbation resources
Please feel free to blog about your thoughts - and I'll add your blog post to the list of resources.
I agree with C.J. in the respect that the "sinfulness" of masturbation ought to be weighed against how it is being used.
ReplyDeleteMy wife has had several c-sections. Each of those c-sections is followed by a 6-week period of no intercourse per doctor's orders. Some would say that I should just deal with not having sex for six weeks. But, I know that I can be a happier, more helpful, and a more pleasant husband if I just take care of things every so often.
As for your 21 year old friend (who I'm guessing is single), I think it depends on how he uses it. Is he addicted? Is it interfering with his life? Is it driving him towards viewing porn or preventing him from dating? Or, is it just a healthy way to take the edge off?
I've thought about what to tell my own sons when they hit puberty. I don't want to tell them NOT to masturbate, but I also am afraid that if I don't make them totally avoid it that they will have a tough time quitting so that they can serve missions (if they so desire).
After reading his Sept 09 post on masturbation by Scrum Central I left the following comment which I decided to include in my comments:
ReplyDeleteUpon the conclusion of reading the book "Masturbation: The history of a great terror. (by jean Stengers and Anne Van Neck) I began to understand the source of revelation from whence Elder Packer and President Kimball may have obtained their Masturbatory views. The origin of Elder Packers discriminatory council to "fill our stage. . .in order to drive away the imps. . .may possibly have come from Dr Crommelinck's Teachings. (As late as the mid 1800's Crommelinck was giving the following advice: "Keep a collection of the best poets at hand, and as soon as the desire to masturbate overcomes you, give yourself fifty or a hundred verses to learn by heart, giving preference to selection on morals, philosophy or history, the more difficult the piece the better.") "Sin Against Nature" a favorite phrase of President Kimball, can trace to it's roots to the Thirteenth Century as used by Thomas Aguinas, then in the fifthteenth century by Saint Auntonius(De vicio contra naturum: mollicies) and again in the sixteenth century by Cajetan (unum de peccatis contra naturam) As Alan mentioned, I too have come to the conclusion that these men were most likely preaching their own agenda, literally taking much of what was taught during the dark and Victorian era’s, and preaching it as divine doctrine.
These are just a few of the archaic idealisms which found their origins during the dark ages. It is interesting to note that the modern day science and religion of the time taught that masturbation was the cause of medical conditions such as: cephalalgias, vertigo, cerebral congestion, and in general "all the illnesses of the brain and the spinal column." Nervous Troubles: asthenis, melancholia, hysteria, convulsions, stupidity, imbecility, and insanity. Sense organs and phonation: weakening or total loss of sight and hearing (this is where the "you'll go blind philosophy originated) progressive loss of smell and taste. Skeletal system: Rachiotis, gibbosities, stunting of growth, articular rheumatism, and gout. And so many more I do not have the time or space to include. I would also like to point out that the final prognosis, for the incurable masturbator, was often thought to be death. (Dictionnaire des sciences medicales) In 1860 Dr DeBourge expressed the idea that: This abominable practice has put to death more individuals than all the great wars, joined to the most depopulating epidemics."
It was during this period that religious leaders of the time began using “Guilt” and fear as motivators to keep youth from falling to this abhorrent practice of “self pollution”. We no longer believe that the above mentioned ails are caused by masturbation yet for some reason we cling to the idea that it is a “sin against nature”. Why it is that society, in particular the LDS church for the purposes of this conversation, have progressed and moved forward in regards to the idea that masturbation causes said mentioned ails, yet due to the result of their personal beliefs many modern Prophetic leaders continue to preach archaic “personal” agenda’s in regards to many sexual issues which have no canonized support of any value? Seriously Folks can anyone site even one scripturally canonized command that mankind not “self pollute”? (ie masturbate, jack off, whack the willy, yank the chain, lube the tube, beat the meat, etc. etc. etc.)